my sister made me feel crappy today. she said yesterday i was really nasty to her, using her weakness from just returning from hospital as an excuse to be horrible to her, because she couldn't fight back.

then she said i was a liar, and she hated liars.

:(. i feel all sad. i wasn't mean to her yesterday. we watched tv together.. i was .. nice. i had to concentrate, but i was totally 100% nice all day. i know, go me.

*i am kidding, people.*

it's like.. maybe she knows for real that i was being nice, but she's manipulating me into feeling awful. i spent all day when i wasn't at a flipping job interview making her cups of tea and bringing her things. tidying up after her.

man.

and just to complete the image that the whole world is against me [i.e. i think it's probably me having a bad day, not everyone else] i ate a chocolate bar, you know, one of those mini 'fun-sized' ones [haha, fun, yeah, right] and mum started laughing at me.

mum: 'you're always complaining you're fat. you're going to be even fatter now!! heee hee hee!'

ally mcbeal moment:*SMACK* - *mum's head snaps off at the neck and flies into a passing garbage truck*

me: aww, wow. ouch. thanks, mum.

bless her huge, open, affectionate heart. really, no, seriously, bless her.

little fucker. wish she *had* aborted me, as planned. bitch.

is it normal to have nightly dreams about sex? lol. maybe not. my interview was rubbish today. interviewed by a woman. and she hated me. i wouldn't care if she hated me because i was tall and slim and beautiful or small and real cute and avril-lavigne-esque, but i'm not. i didn't know what to say. i feel so... on my own. it's strange. to be living with three other people and still feel alone. yes, i am in a melodramatic 'why me' mood, bite me.
feel lonely. probably because i'm sitting in my room all on my own. my sister tried to explain why i had failed phil's osophy. her reasoning? um, basically yo, my teacher liked my arguments, it's not that i was actually any good, it's just that he liked my arguments. of course he was going to predict me an A/B grade. duh. but, like, yo, in the real world? with real examiners? yeah, like, people, jen sucks.

i was a bit hurt. sorta rocked back and sat down hard. and then i got to thinking, yes, the girl has a point...

2002-08-29 - 6:13 p.m.
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