what a day. had a free period first thing, sat aruund with fee in the lrc crackin jokes and genuinely being mischevious - god that girl is so funny lol she comes over as this little scary goth girl but she's so sweet! it's really odd! lol. then we had history and andy - my tutor - made me crack out laughing in this really insane giggling manner which almost made fee bash me into a coma with her folder [as she told me later, heh heh] anyway, andy was talking about the depression in uh.. the 20s... that sorta helped hitler and his short-ass cronies get to power - then this smart kid - a guy, lol, god damn him and his penis-genes - that was bizarre - said that the depression in question was the *second* one and pointed out that the first depression didn't help hitler leap to power, it was the build-up effect; so then andy wrote on the board 'okay, smart ass, it wasn't the Depression, it was the sequel: Depression 2: Return of the slums' hee heee hee the way he said it aloud it was like 'dum dum DUMMM!'

or maybe i am just easily amooosed. hmm.

so then we had english. that was okay, but elle sat next to me and i got immediately grumpy, that girl is so prissy and 'well really, i'm clever-er than everyone in this room, haaaaaa' rather like that shona/shonda/shippery/-shoop-shoop girl that signed my guestbook ages ago and was randomly bitchy without leaving an email or a homepage link cos she was too shitted to do so, probably pissed because she couldn't fit her tampon in what with her HEAD BEING STUCK UP HER ASS

anyway. lol. phew. :p.

so yeah, i was bristling all lesson. then... we had a freeeeee, we bought sandwiches at tesco and i had a chicken salad thing which was sooo yummy but oh the carbs, it's just so frecking WRONG. lol. i felt so bad afterwards. crushing guilt.

so then we walked back to college and went to tutor period - i saved a seat for vicki but she either didn't see it or ignored it which was weird. hmm. she has totally abandoned me. very hurtful. like waaaaaa. oh yeah i said to her before getting on the bus that paying for lucy's hoodie might be a problem considering my parents want lucy to pay for my watch if i'm going to pay for something.

then vicki pointed out that *I* left my watch at lucy's. [i.e., lucy hates me, there's no chance i'll get anything back that i EVER leave at her place. yeah i know. fuck me. that's MY fault.] whereas i had BORROWED lucy's hoodie and [purposefully, obviously] LOST it. [in one of their friend's houses.]

but seriously, i can see where she's coming from honestly, and i will give that money to lucy, especially now that vicki will have told lucy what i said with her own unique little spin on it that means lucy will probably want to hire someone with money from her huge bank account to kick the shit out of me.

okay. i know i am being harsh.

it's just, i said to vicki, basically i don't think i can afford it, and my mum's a bit narked that i leave lucy's hoodie at her friend's house and have to pay for it, i leave my watch at lucy's house and don't get it back. i mean a watch might not sound like a lot but it was my main birthday present last year, it cost the same as the hoodie - i told you, we're not rich or anything - and she just totally froze me out; like, give lucy that money dude, you lost her fucking hoodie. who cares about your watch.

i actually do agree with her, despite my bitchy rambles in here; i lose something of someone else's, nevermind that it was in a friend of her's HOUSE not in a random pub somewhere or the fact that when i offered to buy her another hoodie with the money i'd been saving up for 2 months to buy a hoodie for myself, she said 'nah, i just bought a random one today, i don't need anymore' [it's like, hello, i don't have any, whine whine whine] - it's just the fact that i used to tell vicki everything and she told me stuff she said she couldn't tell lucy - her lifelong best friend and birthing partner - lol sorry that came out of nowhere.

she was just really... cold.

and vicki's never cold. she's nice to everyone.

and yeah, i did cry all the way home.

it hurt.

on the down side - ha ha HA - emailed quite a few Unis to see if i could get in with 2 a levels and 2 as levels, cos the UCAS points match up to what is required, and the decent Universities said no. i am so sick of college now anyway.

i always wanted to join the army. my mum reminded me of that wish today. so i just emailed my local army centre to clear up an issue about S.I - a friend of mine said that the army frowns on 'that sort of thing' - makes it sound like fucking INCEST or something for gods sake - but they should be able to clear that up for me.

so what have we learned from this entry?