what a charade this morning. i wake up and decide i want to take soup to college with me in a flask; means no money spent on random food items that will only kill me, and also, you know what i'm like about soup.

but then, i remembered, my mother's planning soup for dinner, which is also low cal- whilst i'm jumping around for joy at the prospect of the first day of my challenge with the venerable lucy going really well, i also know that if my mother sees me getting soup, she'll freak.

she wants me to lose weight the healthy way.

healthy way my eye.

so anyway. i shower in 7 minutes. dash downstairs still in a towel, put some minestrone on the stove - it's now 6:38am - hop around trying to keep warm in the semi-darkness, because i'm too scared to put the light on - pour the soup through a funnel into a flask, little noodle thingies block up the funnel, throw funnel on side, it misses, hits the floor, noodle everywhere, it's now 6:42am.

scoop noodlery off floor, curse at getting this wormlike stuff under my nails, scrub floor with my foot, put pan in sink, scrub, grab flask, screw top on tightly and dash upstairs hiding the flask under my towel and precariously close to losing both.

get upstairs. get dressed. dry hair, barely, remember pan in sink, dash downstairs - it is now 6:56am - begin frantically scrubbing at pan, wash up random other items, mother finds me with my arms in soap suds with my hair still wet at the back -

'where did that pan come from?'

QUICK THINKING

'uh, i had a hot drink at 2a this morning. i was thirsty.'

she groans.

'what did you have?'
me: 'uh, a hot chocolate',
mum: 'oh.. right... *walks off..* i thought we didn't have any hot chocolate'
me: '*groan* i meant that cappucino stuff, you know'
mum: 'you had a *coffee* at 2am? are you nuts?'
me: um...
mum: *opens bin, sees soup can, looks at me* did you have soup *as well*? .. how can you have been hungry at that time?! look, if you're going to binge and purge, just tell me!

me:'AAAARGH!'

i hate that she tells me i have eating issues - bulimia - and must go on a diet to rectify them [what the fuck?] and then when i try to sneak soup instead of buying a carbo-filled sandwich at college - thus doing the dieter's thing - i end up convincing her somehow that it's related to the [now imaginary] eating issues!
rar.

update: i just had most of my soup - yummy! - and bought a 6 pack of sugarfree gum. whoo. she wants me to be thin? she'll get thin.
*chews animatedly*
besides which, *no-one* gets away with saying i'm f.a.t.
*chews and plots revenge*

[the above graphic is from the scourge and i'm only using it because.. it's.. just so good. bite me.]

2002-09-16 - 8:51 a.m.
next and last