just a girl says: bit defensive soz ad the lads pickin on me all day
zombie says: why wot they been sayin?
just a girl says: av bruises on my bum 4rm bein countlesly slapped! grrrrrrrrr
just a girl says: bin callin me whore etc just wot they call fun yet i amazingly dont find it funny
zombie says: awww
zombie says: that's boys innit
just a girl says: uhuh neandothol 1's that work in mc d's espec
zombie says: what can you expect really, it's the same at kfc
just a girl says: uhuh stupid men really av gone rite off them gonna join u bein bi i tink
zombie says: lol
just a girl says: much easier
zombie says: girls are just as bad as guys u know
just a girl says: really? dammit no escape then
zombie says: it aint much easier, i mean yeah u were born gorgeous so u can have anyone but for us mere mortals its still toil whether its boys or girls
just a girl says: ugg stop it gain with the gorgeous i cud really get offended! that k called me cute the other day thou which woz rather flatterin
zombie says: fuck you.
zombie says: i can't believe you just said that.
just a girl says: y?
zombie says: because i thought you were a nice person.
just a girl says: wuh huh cant win with u!
zombie says: you say ME calling you gorgeous is OFFENSIVE.
you say KAY calling you gorgeous is FLATTERING.
and you can't win with ME?
I'M THE ONE WHO CAN'T FUCKING WIN!
just a girl says: ugg dint mean offensive like that! god meant that u tlk bout me bein gorgeous as if thats all i am
just a girl says: nothin more! i dont feel 2 gr8 wen ppl tlk bout me as such a superficial person cos im not
zombie says: world's smallest violin etc. you get called gorgeous. regularly. anyone call you stupid? No. and you complain. argh. god i'd swap you.
just a girl says: many ppl call me stupid generally 2 my face cos im blonde n tinks its ok! thats all evre1 tinks i am a pretty face n its not nice!
zombie says: well all every1 thinks of me is i'm so ugly i must have something else goin for me n when i don't cos i get the same grades as everyone else they ignore me n call me nasty girl n make fun of me and stop talking to me and make me feel like shit
just a girl says: yeh it works the same with me no1 expects me 2 b clever cos im pretty n blonde! u kno how infuriating that is!
zombie says: yep.
just a girl says: they just tink awwwwww its lil lu we'l just love her cos shes pretty n cute n wont expect nethin but possible sex 4rm her if we'r lucky it drives me so mad dont u just hate it i hate ppl judgin me 4 the way i luk, y im such an untrendy, unfortunalty 4 me thou ppl seem 2 wear the same things ie my pink trousers this yr! grrrrrr y
zombie says: at least you get that love immediately. i will never have it. just appreciate it for what it is for the love of god. so they don't expect you to be anything but gorgeous. fine. at least they think good of you already.
just a girl says: yeh but they dont tink im good! thats the point! they tink im easy 2 use cos im slightly pretty n therefore must b thick as pig shit! i dont want ppl 2 just like me cos im pretty thats so superficial, thats just makes me sumat that they keep round so that they luk gud!
zombie says: lu. i've been bullied for being ugly since i was tiny. i started attempting suicide at 9 years old. i am now used to the way people treat me. i'm too wrapped up in my own realisation of the world to feel sympathy for a pretty girl complaining because everyone likes her! they all listen to you. anything you say, goes.
just a girl says: ug 2 rite ure wrapped up in ure own world, ure worlds the worst! its exactly the same 4 me, i spent up 2 the age off 11 with an extremly lazy eye, i spent my childhood bein bullied bout bein ugly 2! thats y i cant except ppl sayin im pretty now cos i spent so long bein picked on n defensive! i av no confidene bcos of it n i dont need ppl like u tellin me that im 'perfect' cos im so far 4rm it!
zombie says: i had a lazy eye as well.
just a girl says: a lad that iv known since i woz 5 started workin with me n he dint evn kno who i woz! went thru primary n high school with him n he woz like who r u!? grrr how infuriating! i had 2 av 2 operations 2 get rid of mine, its so horrible isnt it, the comments that i used 2 get hurt so bad n i sumtimes stil get it ppl sumtimes notice still n i just wanna cry, it caused so much pain
zombie says: look. you grew up into someone pretty. i didn't. you resent the way you get acceptance because of your looks and not your personality? fine. i am through resenting the way that i don't get acceptance at all. because it's going to be my life. for the next however many years i choose to live. you'll go to university and be recognised as an intelligent, pretty person - thickos don't get into uni
zombie says: you've got a brilliant life ahead where people will stand up for you on a bus to give you a seat, people will look after you, buy you drinks, flirt with you, comfort you, trust in you. you don't look like hoggle. i do. so this is why i don't have much sympathy for you now. i feel for the lupea in the past, but not now. you have so much.
just a girl says:who eva sed i woz gonna get in2 uni i wont get the grades!
zombie says: you probably will.
just a girl says: i dont av as much as it seems trust me im very gud at frontin cos like u i had 2 learn how
zombie says: i haven't learned how to do anything except be my own best friend because no one else will be. no guys will fall for me, no girls will call me gorgeous, no one will hold doors open for me except ALUIN.
zombie says: the snobby crowd from my high school made friends with you quicker than i could breathe, and they'd never look at me.
just a girl says: they do at col! ppl like u u just hate ureself 2 much 2 c it! ure ure own worst enemy! and well bout that lot yam hates me, shes not my frend! weez is goin out with rob n thats the only reason she hangs bout with us, rach likes patronisin me n tryin 2 arrange my life n incase u avnt noticed i spend very limited time with them zombie says: but they gave you acceptance. i was at school with them for TWO YEARS and i never came close.
just a girl says: they avnt accepted me! god yam takes ne chance poss 2 call me names ie flump! n barelt tlks 2 me, n she only does cos we'v got tutor 2getha, they all tink theyr far better than me, the 1st thing rach askd wen she met me woz wot grades i got at gcse n then she blanked me 4 a yr till this homer ting thats shes tryin 2 orgainse so she tinks she as control over me! they never accepted me!
zombie says: well. you have rob and jonny and ben all swooning over you.
just a girl says: ugg johnny enjoys callin me dumb blonde 2 my face! rob takes tests on the interenet just 2 prove im weirder than him! n ben ugg id rather not thanks!
zombie says: but at least they like you. you could have any guy you wanted.
just a girl says:i cant i camt get homer which is who i really want or i cudnt get the lad b4 that i wanted, i get the superficials 1's that r more concerned with the fact that i make them luk gud
zombie says:why can't you get homer? i thought you went out this weekend? and i'd pay for a life where a guy wanted me because i made him LOOK GOOD.
just a girl says:but thats means they never want me cos they like me! thats so sad n lonely 4 me! homer's uninterested cos im 2 thick 4 him i tink
zombie says:

okay. i know you've got brains. but you say things like 'meep' and 'scary'. i mean, aw, cute, but not nobel-prize-winning-stuff. maybe if you want them to realise that you've got a brain, you have to start saying stuff other than 'meep'...
zombie says:you're just too nice. i mean hell don't be 'nasty girl' because you'll be stealing my coffin - ah, throne - but you know... a bit of sharp wit... show them who has the brains... rob is up his own ass because he's a year younger than the second years and is all 'wahey i rule' but... he doesn't.
just a girl says: dosnt work tried it they patronise me n tink awwwwww shes tryin 2 b clever! i can get back at them all n av recently cos iv spent far 2 much time with them n av bin gettin quite nasty
zombie says: and what has their reaction been?
zombie says: still patronising?
just a girl says: yup, johnny takes wot i say n turns it on its head or just says well finr ill leave then, rob just comes bak with sumat else n ben just lafs n pretends its all fun
zombie says: having said that, they're not the most representative sample of the male population. a lot of guys like brainy pretty girls.
zombie says:at lot of guys however, are threatened.
zombie says:rob and his clan are one example of the latter.
just a girl says:yup more threatened 4rm the 1's ive met, kurt, matt n blythe hate me in film wen i come out with sumat! they just like huh wots she kno
zombie says: yep, that's lads of the old school generation - one of the biggest reasons that if i could choose my sexuality, i'd still be bi.
zombie says: girls take you for what you are.
zombie says: not all of 'em though......
just a girl says: lol yeh
just a girl says: sum of em r bound 2 b superficial just like lads!
zombie says: god, they are.
just a girl says:yup cud c kay bein bit like that actually
zombie says:yeah well. i dunno.
just a girl says: hmmmmm
zombie says:god ive made myself miserable with this conversation.
just a girl says:yup me 2
zombie says:hey u know what we just had a pretty harsh conversation from two different viewpoints n we didnt fall out or anything... that wouldnt happen with any of my other friends... they'd be crying and i'd be feeling right horrible.
just a girl says:i tink were quite similar really
zombie says:yeah , eerie innit, cept i say what im thinking and you dont
zombie says:possibly why you have tons more friends - lol - er

i hope diaryland's sorted itself out by the time of this post - last time i checked it was showing diary entries in order... like, from the first one... years ago..

2003-02-23 - 10:04 p.m.
next and last